Comprehensive Guide to Potty Training
Potty training is one of the most significant developmental milestones for children, and it can be overwhelming for parents who are navigating the process for the first time. This Comprehensive Guide to Potty Training is designed to provide parents and caretakers with the essential details necessary for a successful potty training experience with minimal stress.
No two children are alike and no two potty training experiences will be the same. Potty training is often more stressful than necessary for some parents and children. The process can be much more pleasant and easier if parents start with a strategy that addresses the three main areas of concern: when to start potty training, how to train or what methods or rules to use and what products or supplies to use. Once a decision is made in each of the three areas, it's time to start training!
Why is Potty Training so Hard?
Potty training is a complex milestone that can be challenging for both children and parents. It requires children to integrate several recently mastered skills, such as walking, pulling their pants up and down, sitting still, and communicating their needs. At the same time, they must learn to recognize and control the sensations of their bladder and bowels. As we will cover later, children do not develop the ability to control their bowels and bladder until 18 months of age at the earliest with some children unable to control them fully until after 36 or even 48 months.
Additionally, young children are often taught to avoid the toilet due to safety concerns. The loud, unfamiliar sound of the flushing toilet can also be intimidating and frightening for them. Since every child develops at their own pace, there are few clear-cut rules or guidelines that apply universally. Each potty training journey is unique to the child. These factors often make potty training one of the most challenging milestones for both parents and children.
1. When to Start Potty Training
Te first decision parents and caretakers must make to start potty training is understanding when to start the process. Since children develop at different ages and rates' age should never be the determining factor of when to start training. Not every child is ready at the same age, so it’s essential to recognize the signs that your little one is prepared to take this step. The chart below details the potty training signs of readiness that indicate a child is ready to start training:
What is the easiest or "golden age" to potty train?
Signs of Potty Training Readiness
Typically, the signs of readiness appear between 18 months and 3 years. When most of these signs are present, children are more likely to have success with potty training. Additionally, there are indicators that a child may not yet be ready to start the process. Refer to the chart below for details.
On the other end of the spectrum, children are not ready for potty training if they possess the traits below:
Signs that a Child is NOT Ready to Start Potty Training
If more than one of the signs above are present, parents are advised to not start potty training yet. The child likely needs more time to develop and mature before undertaking the challenging task of potty training. Children that show no signs in the chart above have a great chance of successful training.
How Long Does It Take to Potty Train?
On average, potty training takes about three to six months, though each child’s experience will vary. Some children adapt quickly, while others may take longer. Nighttime potty training, in particular, can require significantly more time, typically occurring around 10 months after daytime training is complete.
Nighttime training depends on the body’s production of ADH (antidiuretic hormone), which regulates water retention. Higher levels of ADH are needed to prevent the kidneys from excreting urine during the night.
Children generally gain control over their bladder during the daytime before mastering bowel control. About 10 months after daytime training, most children learn to control their bowels at night first, followed by their bladder.
Is it normal for a 4-year-old to not be potty trained?
It is not uncommon for some children to still be working on potty training at age four. As with any statistic there are always outliers and some children will potty train much earlier than the average while some children will train much later and that is alright and is usually completely normal. Delays can be due to emotional readiness, physical development, or simply individual differences. However, late potty training may also indicate a larger medical issue and should be addressed by consulting a pediatrician to help rule out underlying issues.
How long should you try potty training before giving up?
If you've tried potty training for a few weeks without progress, it's okay to take a break. Experts recommend pausing for a few weeks or months if your child isn’t showing interest, then trying again later.HealthyChildren.org
How long does it take to see progress in potty training?
You’ll usually start seeing progress within a few weeks. This might include small victories like using the potty occasionally or telling you when they need to go( Mayo Clinic). When using one of the accelerated methods like 3 Day Potty Training or Potty Training in a Day, the promise is to see progress within a day or a few days though the reality is it does not happen that quickly for some children even when following the methods precisely.
Stopping and Restarting Potty Training
Sometimes parents start the potty training process and their child struggles to catch onto things. When the training process takes longer than expected and there are other pressing matters going on in the family such as a job change, move or family illness. It is usually best to take a 3 to 4 week break and adjust to the new life situation before returning to potty training efforts.
When Do Children Learn to Control Their Bladder?
Before 12 months of age, children have no control over their bladder or bowels, and only limited control from 12 months until around 18 months. Full daytime control typically develops after 24 months, while nighttime control may take until 36 months or later with 10% of children still wetting the bed at 48 months or 4 years of age.
What's a Realistic Potty Training Timeline?
The Potty Training Timeline
2. How to Potty Train
Once a child shows the potty training readiness signs and they are ready to start, parents must decide how to train and decide what method or rules to use. There are many different methods for potty training, each with its own strengths. Choosing the right approach depends on your child's personality, your parenting style, and how quickly you want results.
Some of the most popular methods currently are the accelerated methods that promise to potty train in 3 days or even one day as well as a more gradual approach with Child-led Potty Training. Parents in a position of needing to have their child trained for school quickly and those who work full time and have a small window over a long weekend to train find the accelerated methods appealing. Of course these methods are often more intense and stressful which should be taken into account.
For parents wanting to train very early when the child is an infant, Elimination Communication or Infant Potty Training starts soon after birth and consists of the mother learning the babies cues and placing her in position over a toilet to catch the urine and feces. Infant Potty Training is the method most of the less developed nations tend to use out of necessity. These impoverished communities tend to lack sanitation and do not have access to disposable diapers. Since more than half of the world fits this poor demographic, it's the reason that half of the world potty trains before one year of age.
A small percentage of parents follow a single method to a tee and have immediate success without having to adapt or change any parts. Parents usually find that a hybrid approach works best by choosing aspects of a particular method they like and discarding the parts that don't fit their situation. Of course there are some general potty training rules that may fit a particular situation as well.
What is the 3-day potty training rule?
The 3 Day Potty Training Rule is simply another name for one of the different 3 Day Methods discussed below. It is a misunderstanding using the term 3 Day Potty Training Rule since this is definitely not one of the potty training rules that are recognized as legitimate guidelines. The book "3 Day Potty Training" by Lora Jensen
The 3-day potty training method, popularized by parenting expert Lora Jensen, is an intensive approach that involves spending three days at home, focusing on consistent potty use, and eliminating diapers completely. While this fast-paced method can yield quick results, it requires close supervision and a high level of commitment from parents. For some children and parents, the pressure of this approach can be overwhelming. More gradual methods, such as Child-led Potty Training, may be a better fit for those who prefer a slower, less intense process.
"Potty Training in 3 Days" by Brandi Brucks
A book very similar to Lora Jensen's is Brandi Bruck's Potty Training in 3 Days which is very similar with the differences in the details. Jensen insists that all children are ready to potty train at 21 months of age while Brucks is more realistic with her time frame of 24 to 30 months with emphasis on readiness before attempting to start training. Brucks states what most experts agree with: readiness not age is the key to starting potty train only when the readiness signs are present regardless of age. Brucks emphasizes consistency of all adults that train a particular child being on the same page with the same expectations. Celebrating successes with a lot of praise and love and even including rewards is critical to engaging children and encouraging their new image as a big kid who wears underwear not diapers.
Day 3 No Progress
One of the most frequently asked questions for 3 Day Potty Training practitioners is what happens after day three especially with no progress prior to day 3. The answer is to continue to follow the schedule and guidelines after day 3 and try to build upon any progress that has been made. After continuing for a few weeks and there is still no progress then it is a good idea to take a break for three or four weeks and start the process again.
3 Day Potty Training Success - Does 3 Day Potty Training Work?
3 Day Potty Training on Reddit
According to the multitude of conversations on Reddit regarding the 3 Day Potty Training Method, the reviews are fairly mixed. However, the negative outweigh the positive by a noticeable amount. Many of the parents maintain that 21 months was much too early for their child to start and they did not have success with the method initially. There are some parents who did maintain that when they returned to the method after a waiting period they had success the second time around. There are of course some parents that saw no success and no value in the method with one such parent exclaiming, "I hate Lora Jensen". The most common theme according to Reddit parents using the method was that their child was simply too young for potty training efforts to begin and that was likely the reason their efforts with the method failed.
What is the most successful potty training method?
There’s no single method that works best for every child, but common and effective approaches include:
- Child-led potty training, where you wait for the child to show readiness signs and follow their lead.
- The 3-day method, which is more structured and intensive.
- Gradual training, where potty usage is introduced slowly over time with minimal pressure .
How do you potty train ASAP?
The quickest method is often the 3-day method, or Potty Training in a day by Adrian Fox. Success depends on consistency and your child’s readiness. Staying positive and rewarding progress, rather than punishing accidents, will yield better results. However, it is not very likely that any child will complete potty training in one or three days and have no accidents, setbacks or night wetting. These fast short intensive methods can get children on the right track quickly but parents should expect accidents to continue for a period of time after the day or three day period is over.
Best potty training method for boys and girls
Though the methods for boys and girls are quite similar, boys may take slightly longer on average. Starting with the child sitting down for both pee and poop can help keep the process simple, regardless of gender .
What is the 10-minute rule for potty training?
The 10-minute rule involves placing your child on the potty every 10-15 minutes in the early stages of potty training to familiarize them with the process(Web-Pampers-US-EN). It is a general guideline that some parents have found successful though many experts believe that 10 minutes is too often and should be extended to 30 or 45 minutes while checking with the child every 10 minutes to see if they need to go. Using 10 minute intervals all but guarantees that sitting the child on the toilet and their using the potty is mere chance and the child is not learning anything by being placed there at the correct moment and not being guided by or learning the sensations that should guide them.
3. What to Use
After determining that a child is ready to start potty training and the method that best fits the situation, the final thing to determine is what supplies to use. The right products make potty training much easier for both you and your child. From potty chairs, urine activated "pee stickers" and training pants to books for children and adults, having the proper tools can ensure comfort, motivation, and convenience. Any one of the supplies below may be just the thing to engage and excite your child and make the process a success:
Potty Training Seats
Potty training seats fit on top of the adult toilet, making it easier for children to use without fear of falling in. Also known as seat reducers, they come in different colors and themes to fit your child's taste including popular cartoon and movie characters for both sexes. Popular options like the Baby Bjorn Toilet Trainer provide secure grips and adjustable features to fit most toilets .
Potty Training Toilets
There are a plethora of child potties available to both girls and boys in different colors, shapes and sizes. Different movies and characters are represented in these potties to appeal to the preferences of children. Standalone potty toilets such as the Fisher-Price Learn-to-Flush Potty allow children to have their own potty, often with fun sounds or lights to make potty time more enjoyable .
Step Stools
Step stools give toddlers the independence they need to reach the toilet on their own. The Little Partners Step Stool is a popular option, sturdy enough for safe climbing .
Reward Charts and Stickers
Using reward charts and stickers is a great way to motivate your child to use the potty. A product like the Melissa & Doug Potty Time Chart lets you track their progress visually .
Training Pants
Training pants such as Pampers Easy Ups and Huggies Pull-Ups help transition your child from diapers to underwear. These training pants are absorbent but allow children to feel when they’ve had an accident (HealthyChildren.org).
Pee Stickers and Potty Training Watches
Fun tools like pee stickers, which reveal a fun image when the child urinates, or potty training watches that remind children when it’s time to try using the potty, add fun and excitement to the process (Parents).
Apps and Books for Parents and Children
- Potty Training Apps: There are various apps available that use interactive games and animations to engage children in the potty training process. These apps can be a fun and educational way to reinforce the concepts of using the toilet.
- Potty Training Books: There are many helpful books for both parent and child that assist in the process. A very popular book and method is "The Three Day Potty Training Method" by Lori Jensen and for children the Elmo book "P is for Potty" and "Potty" by Leslie Patricelli are popular books to consider.
Conclusion
Potty training is a personal and unique experience for each child, and having a comprehensive understanding of when to start, how to train, and what to use can help make the journey smoother. By choosing the right methods and products, and remaining patient and encouraging, you and your child can confidently reach this developmental milestone.